I shared in my post last week that I am currently struggling. Finding myself in a downward spiral, which I fear is rapidly headed toward another battle with depression.
One of my goals for myself was honesty. Without honesty, it’s impossible to have true community. And I’ve been so blessed by people who have reached out to me since I was willing to share. A sweet friend took me out for coffee Monday evening, and asked what she could do to help. She also helped me step back and try to figure out what areas of my life are triggering the most stress, and we tried to troubleshoot some ways to address them. Just having someone reach out and feeling free to talk about where I’m at was very healing. I was so thankful for the encouragement people shared in the comments on my post, and the women who opened up to say that they are there too, or have been there recently. Friends have reached out on Twitter, and pointed me to supportive communities on there. Another friend who lives close by has brought by meals a few times, which has been such a huge blessing. My husband has been amazing as well, even when his advice is hard for my perfectionist self to follow, like, “Go to bed and write your blog post in the morning. You need sleep.”
And speaking of sleep, this week has reminded me again how big of a trigger sleep deprivation is for me. My oldest and my youngest were both very sick this past week. The baby spiked a fever of 105 at one point, and for several days the only way to keep his temperature manageable was to alternate motrin and tylenol every 3 hours around the clock (per his pediatrician’s instructions). My 7 year old had a severe stomach bug and was on the verge of getting severely dehydrated. No one slept well. In addition to the many sleep interruptions, I’ve been struggling with insomnia this week. Something that seems completely ridiculous with how exhausted I am! I’m not sure how to get more sleep right now, but I’m going to try to work on it, even if it means occasionally I get behind on e-mails or Twitter and take a nap, or go to bed and risk putting a post up past my self-imposed deadline.
I didn’t get very far on my schedule last week, other than to type it up. With so much sickness, we pretty much watched movies. All. Week. Long. But today is a new day, and with everyone feeling better I’m going to try to use my schedule as a guide. I’m hoping it can bring some more direction to our days and make things more peaceful, but if it proves to be to much we will revisit it.
Thank you for encouraging me and for “listening.” Thank you for giving me the freedom to be real, even when real isn’t what I want it to be.