This post is one that I wish I didn’t have to write. I wish I didn’t have to talk about how difficult the past few weeks have been or how frustrated I’ve been with it all. And really, I don’t have to. I want to. Because the past few weeks have been so hard but so good at the same time.

Since she was born, Lily has spit up a lot. Daily, at the very least, and sometimes all day long. At first, I thought it was just oversupply and a very forceful letdown making her too full too quickly. But then I figured out that I was accidentally taking a galactagogue, and the spitting up didn’t stop. In fact, there were times when she would projectile spit up all over me, into my bra, the works. And on top of that, it was obvious that her tummy hurt. She would cry and cry, spit up, and then finally fall asleep sitting up. It was bad, folks, but I didn’t realize how bad it was at the time.

Abby had spit up a lot when she was a newborn, too, but we gave her some acid reflux medicine and it cleared up. I didn’t want to do that with Lily. I had a feeling that it was diet related, especially when she had a really bad episode after I ate broccoli and cheese soup.

About a month ago, I started limiting dairy. Then eliminating it completely (as in breads, cakes, cookies…anything with dairy baked or grilled in it). Food can take up to 2 weeks to get out of someone’s system…so it takes about a month to get it out of a breastfed baby’s system. I’ve slipped a few times on accident, so it’s still not out of my system, much less Lily’s. But I did notice a difference after the first week, and she still has had a few rough episodes.

One of the worst episodes after I eliminated dairy happened when I gorged on Oreos and Triscuits. Oreos don’t have dairy and neither do Triscuits. They do, however, have wheat in them! So now wheat is out, too. And just to be safe, gluten is out. For about a month. You know, during Thanksgiving. *sigh*

I’m cooking a lot more at home now, and it’s definitely been a learning curve. Most dairy-free recipes have gluten, and most gluten-free recipes have dairy. I’m having to learn how to substitute cooking oils for butter, which is far easier than trying to substitute gluten-free flours for regular flour. I’m also learning to make budget-friendly meals that are fairly simple.

It’s a far cry from eating fast food a couple of times a week and then eating frozen pizzas at least once a week. And I miss it. I miss my pizza. I miss spaghetti with the yummy spices. I miss my husband’s chicken alfredo. I miss our “regular” meals.

Because I miss my favorite foods, I made some dairy-free fudge last week. It’s my go-to comfort food right now, especially when I feel like I need some chocolate in my life.

Even though it’s been an adjustment, I feel like a new person already. I have tons more energy, and I’m finally tackling the projects that have been sitting around for months. I’m not sure if it’s the change in diet or if it’s just the motivation that comes from having to change one part of my lifestyle. Even on my tired, off-days, I’m doing more than I did on my best days.

For me, it’s worth it. It’s worth it to see my daughter happy and not in pain. It’s worth it to not be covered in spit-up all day long. It’s worth it to wake up and feel energized, motivated. It’s worth it to enjoy cooking in the kitchen and eating something far healthier. I’m still mourning the way things used to be, but I like the way things are. At least for the moment. It’s hard, but it’s worth it.

Have you made a major lifestyle change that was hard at first but ended up being the best thing for you or your family?