Deep Breath One: The Breastfeeding Blog Hop

Jeniffer and I have been hosting the Breastfeeding Blog Hop with Sarah from Life as Wife, Mummy, and Nurse for almost a year now. All three of us have been linking up to the Hop regularly for much longer than that! It has been so great participating in the Hop each week, sharing our passion for breastfeeding with so many other wonderful bloggers and readers.

Over the last several months the #bfbloghop has started to suffer. We’ve all been pulled in different directions. It’s been harder to come up with new topics. Breastfeeding is full of many different experiences, but there still may be a limit to the amount of different topics that can be covered, at least by the same people. We’ve noticed the number of bloggers participating has dropped quite a bit, and that may very well be due to our limited extra time and energy to pour into commenting on posts and helping get the word out the way we had hoped to through Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest.

We all feel that we are at the place where we are ready to close this chapter. I know for myself, I will always be passionate about breastfeeding! But the time for blogging about it each week is over, at least for us. If there are any of you bloggers reading this who would like to pick up the torch, please send us an e-mail and let us know!

If you are in need of some breastfeeding encouragement, information, humor, or just need to remember you aren’t in this alone, please check out all the wonderful topics and posts from the last few years in the archives here and here, at The Slacker Mom, and Life with Levi.

Deep Breath Two: A Blogging “Time Out”

Like I said above, things have been a bit crazy for all of us. We haven’t been blogging the way we planned to when we shared back in November about our changing visions. We decided that this month is going to be a blogging “time out.” We won’t be posting at all for now. We are going to take this time to enjoy our families, rest our brains a bit, and reflect on what we need to do with the little space we’ve created here. Hopefully there will be lots of time to kick our shoes off and enjoy the summer!

Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to read, comment, encourage, and get to know us over the last two years!

He had just gained a baby sister: Strike One.

We were not consistent: Strike Two.

He was almost, but not quite ready: Strike Three.

Three strikes you’re out?  Or maybe not. Many moms have told me he won’t go to college in diapers! I have learned a bit over the last year to say the least. I have learned that I will never have a clean bathroom, ever. I have learned that consistency is mandatory, despite the fact that three bathroom trips in one hour does not in fact mean you will achieve success. Nope, sometimes it merely means 5 minutes later you will have a puddle on the floor. I have also learned that hiding in my room to catch my breath just for a minute is often the key to calmly putting on yet another pair of undies, and another load of laundry.

My son has SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) and there were times when it hindered our success. Some days he did great, and some days he was in never never “sensory land” and didn’t even register that he had peed. I tried many different methods. We found flip cloth trainers and I breathed a sigh of relief that we were no longer wasting money multiple times a day. If you think diapers are expensive, pull ups are twice the price! We were plugging along “great” until one day he started screaming. Every. Single. Time. It was shortly after he started school and I guess the transition, and their methods at school, were just more than he could process. It was incredibly frustrating, for both of us.

One weekend after school I declared war, on potty training and not my son, do not fear. We ditched the pull ups, grabbed a huge stack of undies and towels, and hunkered down at home. He ended up being sick the entirety of the next week. Honestly staying home and being consistent every day was what he needed. That and the time to be ready.

We are not 100 percent there but we have less accidents every day! I am finding that there is in fact light at the end of this tunnel. Hang in there Mama’s, you can do this!

This post is part of the weekly breastfeeding blog hop, hosted by us, and co-hosted by Life as Wife, Mummy, and Nurse. This week’s topic is, “Funny Breastfeeding Comments/Reactions.”

I know I should have a cute, funny comment or reaction to share. One that would have you rolling on the floor. Or something. Something super cute that Abby did when Lily first nursed in front of her (other than trying to nurse herself?) Or maybe one of my nieces or nephews (because apparently when your baby brother is two and still nursing, it’s amazing that a baby will eat from something other than a bottle.)

Those are great stories in their own rights. And really? I have never really come across someone saying that breastfeeding in public is evil or wrong or worse…weird.

But there is one instance that still stands out and makes me smile. Like, really, really big. Every time I think of it.

We were staying with one of my husband’s college friends and his wife when Abby was 9 months old. I was becoming more comfortable with breastfeeding her in front of others, and I decided to go ahead and nurse her while we were chatting in their living room. I didn’t think anything of it, really, and neither did his wife. And then came the comment, “Look how sweet Abby is, snuggled close to Jen like that.” She shot back, “Um, hon? She’s breastfeeding.”

I can’t wait to see them again in a couple of weeks, especially since they have a son who will be just over a month old by then. And guess what? Yep. She’s breastfeeding.

Have you had any funny comments or reactions to breastfeeding? Share them with us by linking up or in the comments below!

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Note: This is a birth story. As such, it contains references to birth stuff like dilation, pushing, and other TMI type details. So if that’s not your thing, skip this post and check us out next time

In some ways, Talia’s birth story starts before I even became pregnant. You can read more about our journey to home birth after four hospital births here and here.

I thought for most of my pregnancy that this little one would be born early. I had no reason to think that, it was just a feeling. I was also measuring at least two weeks ahead for most of my pregnancy, and it became a running joke that this was going to be my “elephant baby,” since her older brother got here at 10 lbs 6 oz. The weekend of Mother’s Day, I just knew I would go into labor. But Monday morning came, and I was still pregnant. I was still in pretty good spirits, just surprised that things hadn’t gone the way I expected them too.

At my appointment Wednesday. 39 weeks 6 days.

Wednesday morning I had an appointment with my OB, who I had seen throughout the pregnancy as a back-up for my midwife. He checked me, and I was still just 1 centimeter dilated. I left the appointment chanting to myself, “Your cervix is not a crystal ball!” But I was feeling a little more discouraged. My blood pressure had also gone up, which made my midwife a bit concerned. She came over Wednesday afternoon and did a few pressure points to see if we could encourage things along at all. She also noticed that baby wasn’t really in the best position.

Thursday was my due date. I went to my chiropractor, and was thankful again for the fact that although I was ready for the baby to be born, it wasn’t because my back was killing me! Thursday night my husband and I went out for a date. I had arranged a babysitter earlier in the week, even though I had been sure I would have to cancel. But to my surprise, we went out for dinner, AND made it all the way through the new Star Trek movie without a hint of a real contraction.

Friday I tried to stay relaxed about things, and do what needed to be done around the house. I also drank lots of red raspberry leaf tea, and spent a fair amount of time on my birth ball. I wanted to encourage baby to get in a better position, and to move down, since I was still really high. My husband and I stayed up way to late Friday night watching Doctor Who, so it was almost midnight before we got in bed.

That night I kept being woken up by contractions. They were fairly mild, but were peaking in my back and right hip. I decided as long as I could fall back asleep between them I would. Finally a little before 5 I couldn’t sleep any more. The contractions were getting closer together and my back and hip were really bothering me. I got up, woke my husband, and called my birth team. I mixed up some “labor aid” and started drinking it. If my other labors hadn’t gone so quickly, I wouldn’t have called everyone when I did, but I was concerned about things progressing quickly and people not making it in time. Everyone was here by about 7. I updated twitter a few times. My midwife started organizing and setting up all our birth supplies. About 30 minutes later… my contractions stopped. We all hung out for awhile. My husband went and got us all breakfast. My midwife went home to get some knitting stuff…. But my contractions never started back up. I felt pretty discouraged about it, but everyone encouraged me that this was a sign my body was getting ready, and that it wouldn’t be to much longer. My midwife made plans to come over the next afternoon and do some more pressure points if nothing happened before then.

After everyone left, I laid down and felt pretty sorry for myself! But I listened to my “labor playlist”, told baby it was time to come out, and took a good nap. That afternoon, I spent some time reading on Spinning Babies. We knew baby still hadn’t tucked chin or engaged, and that her position still wasn’t quite right. So I crawled around my room for awhile, and did my basement stairs several times. That evening we went to the mall and walked, and then I spent awhile on the birth ball after the kids went to bed. I continued to have 1-2 contractions an hour, but never more than that, and they weren’t getting any stronger. My husband and I were supposed to share at church Sunday, but he made arrangements for a video to be shown instead, and also found someone to fill in for him on the media team. I told him that if we got up the next morning with no signs of things progressing, I was probably going to cry. We went to bed around 10.

Around 2:30 I woke up to a contraction that was much more intense than the others had been. I really had to concentrate and breathe through it. I got up and went to the bathroom, and had a loose BM (TMI, but something that typically always happens at the start of labor for me!). I had another contraction, but decided to try to go back to bed. I laid down for just a minute, but couldn’t get comfortable, so I decided to go to the living room. I had another few contractions in there, and these were intense enough I couldn’t lay down and rest through them – I had to stand, rotate my hips, and breathe. I decided I should wake up my husband. I told him I was having contractions again, and that they really hurt this time. He told me to call  my midwife. I hated to call her after what had just happened Saturday morning, but I felt like things were different this time. I called her, but decided I would wait to call my support ladies. But then I had a few more contractions! Things continued to get more intense, and I decided it was better to risk being embarrassed then for everyone to miss it. My two year old and four year old were both asleep in my bed, and since my room was “labor land” my husband moved them to the living room. Unfortunately, that woke them both up, but they settled down pretty fast and watched Jake and the Neverland Pirates. Over. And over.

I’m not sure what time everyone got here. The contractions were intense enough that I stopped paying attention to what time it was, and totally forgot to update Twitter about #elephantbaby. One of our major goals for this birth was to prevent the tearing I’ve had with all my other deliveries, so my midwife asked to apply some evening primrose oil to my cervix. I asked her to check me too, even though I said I knew it didn’t mean anything. By this point I had been having hard contractions for about 45 minutes. She reminded me that it really didn’t mean anything, but agreed to check me. And I was ONE AND A HALF centimeters. I almost lost it right then. I couldn’t believe I wasn’t a four or five, like I normally was by the time my contractions reached this level of intensity. My contractions also spaced out from every 2-3 minutes to every 5-7, but they were lasting a lot longer and getting progressively more intense. I  hung out my birth ball for awhile, but the pain in my back was getting harder to deal with. My doula got here and started doing counter pressure, which helped a lot. At some point my midwife suggested I get in the tub. That sounded nice, so my doula ran a hot bath for me and I climbed in. Everyone decided to give me some privacy, and just check on me every so often and see if I needed anything.

My sweet friend and support person kept my daughters busy while I was in the tub coloring, and making cards for the baby.

The tub was amazing for the back labor. I could tell a huge difference with the very first contraction I had in there. I started to really enter a serious labor zone. I would have a strong, hard contraction, but as soon as it was over, I would almost fall asleep, and stay in that completely relaxed state until the next contraction hit. When the contractions did hit, I tried to keep my body relaxed, and remember what I had read about the uterus working in my Bradley book. After awhile I started to feel a lot of pressure with the contractions, but I wasn’t feeling the urge to push. I was also kind of out of it, like I said. During contractions, I started wishing other people were around, and thinking it might be close to time, but as soon as it was over I didn’t really care any more, and it was hard to motivate myself to get out of the tub. I finally really decided if I didn’t get out soon, I might give birth in there with none of my support team, and that wasn’t what I wanted, so I stood up. And had a hard contraction. I dried off. And stopped for a contraction. I used the toilet, and saw a tiny amount of blood, but still nothing that looked like bloody show or my mucous plug.  I started getting dressed, and had to stop between each article of clothing for a contraction. At some point while I was getting dressed, my midwife knocked on the door. I told her I was getting out, but had to stop in the middle of answering her to deal with a contraction. She could tell from my breathing that these contractions were a lot different than they had been when I got into the tub, and she grabbed my doula and told her to stand right next to the door while she started getting some things ready in my room.

I walked into my room, and told everyone I had decided I better get out, because things were getting more intense. Right after I said that, another contraction hit, and I instinctively dropped to my knees next to the bed, and rested my upper body on the bed. My doula came up and started doing counter pressure. All of a sudden, I felt a pop of my water breaking, and I started pushing. I still had underwear and a pad on at this point, and the contraction was so intense that I couldn’t say anything. So I was kind of panicking about the fact that this was happening and no one in the room knew it! As soon as the contraction slacked off I gasped out, “I’m pushing!” and everyone started rushing around… In a very calm, reassuring way   I asked someone to get David and the girls, and I was also really worried about getting my underwear off, and then about the fact that I was on carpet!

With all my other labors, once I’ve felt the urge to push, I just push with all my might until I’m done. I knew that if I wanted to reduce my risk of tearing, I needed to try to breathe through some of that urge, and not push so hard. My midwife and doula did warm compresses, which really helped with the urge, and everyone kept encouraging me to just breathe, and that I was doing great. I could distinctly feel the babiy’s head moving down, but it was a few more contractions before she crowned and came out. Her body was out in one or two more pushes after that. Because I delivered on my knees, she was behind me, and I knew my midwife was suctioning her, and that I didn’t hear any crying immediately, but everyone seemed really calm. After a moment, my doula helped me flip around and sit down, and they handed her to me. Everything happened so fast, we had to estimate the exact birth time, but it was around 6:05am – less than four hours after I got up with the first contractions. So much for my worries about labor taking to long. Dilation really doesn’t mean anything.

I still didn’t know if baby was a girl or boy yet. We had given my oldest the job of “announcing” to the room, so I checked to see if it was a boy or girl, but tried not to be obvious. I was so excited she was a girl! I had really been okay with either, but part of me was hoping for a girl. It was an amazing feeling to be holding her in my arms when I found out – we’ve always found out at the ultrasound before.

At this point, I noticed that she was pretty filthy, even more so than a normal newborn, and she still wasn’t really crying well. My midwife suctioned her a little more and kept rubbing her, but she started to turn a little blue on us. It was scary, but within a minute or two she pinked up and let out a few little cries to let us know she was okay.

We called Makaylah over, and let her check to see if it was a boy or girl. Her cord was right in the way though, so at first she proudly announced, “Boy!” to which we said, “Are you sure?” When she realized she had another sister she was over the moon! I delivered the placenta, and my seven year old Sophia came over to cut the cord. We hadn’t planned on my four year old, Isaiah, being present for the birth, but in all the rush and confusion he ended up in there too. He has since told me that Talia was “gross” when she came out, and also that he knows how he got out of my tummy now, but he seems to have taken it in stride overall!

Talia Anne, in the hands of my doula

We relaxed on the floor for a few minutes. It wasn’t until I was talking to my midwife during this time that I realized why she was such a mess – there was TONS of meconium in the water. She was also pretty covered in vernex, so the combination was quite a sight! My midwife and doula also couldn’t get over the fact that she had come out with both shoulders at the same time – not something you see every day. She started rooting around, so I pulled down my top to latch her on. Before I could do much more than move her towards me, she opened up wide and latched right on. My midwife and everyone else on my support team were shocked, and we all have breastfed. I’ve never seen a baby latch on that way at the first feeding. After about 30 minutes, we got into the herbal bath (verrrrrry slowly, on my part!), which felt amazing, and got us both cleaned up. Then they helped me get into bed, and we pretty much stayed there for the next few days!

Getting to know each other. I kind of love that my birth ball ended up in this picture.

It was an absolutely amazing birth experience. I know not everyone feels comfortable birthing at home, but for me it was the most natural thing in the world. To give birth surrounded by people I know in love, with my children right there, and to crawl into my own comfortable bed afterwards to get to know my baby…. It was perfect.

Proud siblings.

Oh, and as far as the elephant baby thing goes… We were all pleasantly surprised that she was “only” 8 lbs 11 oz

My midwife weighing Talia.

This post is part of the weekly breastfeeding blog hop, hosted by us, and co-hosted by Life as Wife, Mummy, and Nurse. This week’s topic is, “Sweet Breastfeeding Moments.”

I’m now a mom of 5. I have a 9 year old, 7 year old, 4 year old, 2 year old, and 4 day old. I’m sleep deprived. Tired. A bit sore. But I get to look at this view.

I’m abundantly blessed.

Be sure to check out what other moms have to say in the linky below! We would love if you would link up your old or current posts on this topic. Please be sure to mention the BF Blog Hop and link to this post or our page. We would love it if you shared the BF Blog Hop with your readers by including the linky code in your post, too. If you’ll leave us your twitter handle in the comments, we’ll be sure to tag you when we tweet your post! If you are new to the Hop, be sure to check out the Breastfeeding Blog Hop page for more information about how it all works.



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This post is part of the weekly breastfeeding blog hop, hosted by us, and co-hosted by Life as Wife, Mummy, and Nurse. This week’s topic is, “Breastfeeding Activities!”

Some babies love nursing. It’s not just for food, it’s truly a time that they enjoy. Abby was not that way. The most I ever did with her was to teach her sign language for “mama’s milk.” (In case you’re wondering, it’s simply the sign for Mama followed by the sign for milk.) By the time that she started enjoying our time together, I was pregnant with Lily and had started weaning her. Coincidence? Probably not.

Lily is another story altogether. After I started cutting dairy and soy out of my diet, she started enjoying our time together more and more. While I have made it a point to teach her “mama’s milk,” I have also made it a point to introduce other activities while she nurses. You know, other than just me playing Candy Crush Saga on my phone.

My all-time favorite activity is singing to her. I made up a simple song for her, and it doubles as a reinforcement for the “mama’s milk” sign! It goes, “Mama’s milk is good. Mama’s milk is yummy. Mama’s milk fills up my Lily’s tummy!” And when I get to “Lily’s tummy,” I tickle her. If she smiles, I know she’s very much awake and wants to party some more. If she doesn’t, I know she’s sleepy and will be out soon.

I also talk to her some and play with her. I’ll tickle her feet at times, too. We are also finding ways to share this time with Abby, who generally is lurking nearby while she nurses. But I still enjoy our song the most.

Do you have any special breastfeeding activities, rituals, or games? Share them with us in the linky or in the comments below!

Be sure to check out what other moms have to say in the linky below! We would love if you would link up your old or current posts on this topic. Please be sure to mention the BF Blog Hop and link to this post or our page. We would love it if you shared the BF Blog Hop with your readers by including the linky code in your post, too. If you’ll leave us your twitter handle in the comments, we’ll be sure to tag you when we tweet your post! If you are new to the Hop, be sure to check out the Breastfeeding Blog Hop page for more information about how it all works.

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Physical stuff

Overall I have been so blessed this pregnancy. I’ve been able to manage my heartburn without taking a daily medication, something I’ve needed with all of my other pregnancies. Up until the last few days, I haven’t needed a nap every day either! I have had two challenges. My back started giving me really serious issues a few months ago. By the time I hit the beginning of April, it was getting difficult to walk without a limp. It was impossible to walk without pain. I started seeing a chiropractor twice a week, and it has been a lifesaver. I literally do not know how I would be functioning without going to see him. I’ve missed a day here and there due to sickness or scheduling conflicts, and I can definitely feel the difference. The other challenge I ran into last month was that I became severely anemic after a week long stomach bug. This caused horrible headaches, and made my blood pressure spike up a bit. I started a liquid iron supplement, as well as being very intentional about getting iron into my diet, and my iron level is back up into acceptable ranges. We are still working on it though, as it would be great if it came up a bit more.

37 weeks

Yesterday – 39 weeks, 3 days!

Emotional Stuff

I am starting to feel pretty “ready” for this baby to make his or her appearance. The house is as ready as it will ever be with four kids, the carseat is installed, the pack ‘n play is set up, the birth supplies are stored, baby clothes and newborn diapers and washed and put away…. Now we just need a baby! I’m getting a bit more weepy and hysterical prone to, so that’s always fun, especially for my hubby At the same time, I am trying to relish these last days, and enjoy my baby bump, and each roll and kick. With this being our fifth baby, there’s no guarantee I will get to experience this miracle again, and so part of me is sad to think about it being over.

Home Birth Stuff

Everything is still looking good for our planned home birth, and I couldn’t be more excited! I adore my midwife, and I have two other friends who are supposed to be coming as doula/labor support. I love that my children have gotten to be such an active part of the process during my midwife appointments, and I’m excited that they will get to experience the birth of their sibling! My oldest gets to be the one to make the “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl! announcement to the room, and my seven year old is planning on cutting the cord.

Midwife appointment with all my “helpers.”

My youngest wanted to “listen” to the baby too.

Photo by my 4 year old.

Birth Stuff

Hopefully any day now I’ll be able to share a birth announcement! Be looking out on the Sisters ‘N Cloth facebook page, as well as our twitter feed. The planned hashtag is #elephantbaby, since my last was 10 lbs 6 oz, and this little one shows every sign of keeping up with big brother!

I’m off to drink some more Red Raspberry Leaf Tea, and keep bouncing and rotating on my birth ball

This post is part of the weekly breastfeeding blog hop, hosted by us, and co-hosted by Life as Wife, Mummy, and Nurse. This week’s topic is, “Little Mommas.”

There’s a lot to intimidate you about motherhood. And one of the things that intimidates me is the knowledge that so often, my kids are going to walk in my shoes, following the footsteps I’ve modeled for them. That can be encouraging, humbling, and quite honestly, terrifying! I know that I have not always given them the best footsteps to follow.

But one area that all of mine have copied me in that makes me smile and gives me no reservations is the way they nurture their “babies.” It started when my first baby became a big sister right before she turned 2. She absolutely adored her sister, and loved mothering her own babies. My mom made her a sling of her own, and she had at least one baby in it almost constantly.

Babywearing and multitasking!

Soooo happy with her baby!

She also loved to “nurse” her babies, especially if I was nursing her sister. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to many pictures of that. I do have this one, which I love of my daughter and hate of myself So just look at her!

My oldest may have been the first to copy these things, but all of the rest have too. Including my son! I hope that they remember even as they grow how completely normal it is to hold, cuddle, wear, and nurse a baby.

The copying hasn’t quite stopped yet, even now that my oldest is 9. She is great at comforting her 2 year old brother, and quick to scoop him up for a hug, or cuddle him for a nap. She also informed the pediatrician at a recent visit that the nurses said she had a lazy latch when she was born, but it was really that she has a tongue tie. He looked me with a smile and said, “Lactation consultant in training?” I could think of worse things!

Do you have a favorite picture or memory of your little ones copying your mothering?

Be sure to check out what other moms have to say in the linky below! We would love if you would link up your old or current posts on this topic. Please be sure to mention the BF Blog Hop and link to this post or our page. We would love it if you shared the BF Blog Hop with your readers by including the linky code in your post, too. If you’ll leave us your twitter handle in the comments, we’ll be sure to tag you when we tweet your post! If you are new to the Hop, be sure to check out the Breastfeeding Blog Hop page for more information about how it all works.

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This post is part of the weekly breastfeeding blog hop, hosted by us, and co-hosted by Life as Wife, Mummy, and Nurse. This week’s topic is, “Breastfeeding Bloopers!”

I’m not sure what it is exactly, but both of my girls think it’s funny when I nurse outside of the home. Abby thought it was hilarious when she threw the blanket off of me that time in the mall. And Lily? Well, she has Abby as an older sister.

A couple of weeks ago, the girls and I went out to eat with a family in our church. Towards the end of the meal, Lily was definitely getting hungry and needed to eat. So I grabbed my handy dandy nursing cover from the diaper bag and helped her get latched. No biggie, right?

Sure…until Abby decides that it’s fun to play peek-a-boo with her baby sister! And by peek-a-boo, I mean, “Let’s yank this silly nursing cover off of Mama so that I can see my sister!” I tried to keep the cover in place, but by that point Lily was getting the hang of the game and didn’t want to be under the cover either. When I tried to hold the cover down, Abby peeped at Lily from the top of the cover instead. The mama with me had breastfed her daughters, so she just laughed at the girls’ antics, and I couldn’t help but smile.

Abby loving on Lily (20 months, 10 weeks)

This experience did show me two things. One, my little Lily isn’t so little anymore! I have a feeling that we’ll be retiring the nursing cover before too long. *tear* Two, my girls are super close and the best of friends. At least some of the time.

Have you experienced any breastfeeding “bloopers?” Share them with us in the linky or in the comments below!

Be sure to check out what other moms have to say in the linky below! We would love if you would link up your old or current posts on this topic. Please be sure to mention the BF Blog Hop and link to this post or our page. We would love it if you shared the BF Blog Hop with your readers by including the linky code in your post, too. If you’ll leave us your twitter handle in the comments, we’ll be sure to tag you when we tweet your post! If you are new to the Hop, be sure to check out the Breastfeeding Blog Hop page for more information about how it all works.

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This post is part of the weekly breastfeeding blog hop, hosted by us, and co-hosted by Life as Wife, Mummy, and Nurse. This week’s topic is, “Weaning (or not)”

I’ve always thought I couldn’t be a tandem nurser.

When I got pregnant with my second child, my oldest was only a year old, and still breastfeeding a ton. I started experiencing a lot of light-headedness, and had several near fainting episodes, in addition to losing over 15 pounds during my first trimester. I could hardly function, so I weaned my first daughter at 15 months, even though neither of us was really ready. When my second daughter reached toddlerhood, I enforced a few nursing restrictions, and she gradually and gently weaned around 2. I got pregnant with my fourth while I was still nursing my third. Thrush also decided to pay me a visit, and my son loved to stay latched on forever. Nursing stopped being something that drew us close to each other, and instead left me wanting to scream with frustration. I weaned him at 2.5, a few months before my fourth was born.

Fast forward a few years. I’m currently expecting my fifth child. From the time I got pregnant, I knew I would “need” to wean Nehemiah, my fourth. I wasn’t sure exactly when, but decided sometime after his second birthday, and before the start of my third trimester would be good. We night-weaned, which took about a week, and was so much less traumatic than when I night-weaned my third! We cut back to one nursing session a day… The bedtime nursing session. But we were both still enjoying our quiet moments at the end of the day. If I needed to be away from the house at bedtime, Nehemiah went to sleep fine for my husband. He even sometimes fell asleep for me without nursing. He might go two or three days without nursing at all, but then nurse again for a few nights. But by the end of February, I just knew it was “time” if we were going to do this thing. He’s two. I’m almost at the end of my pregnancy. I can’t be a tandem nurser. Time to wean. Right?

I snapped pictures of our “last” nursing session. This one is my favorite. I cried every time I looked at it the next day.

And then we went out of town. We were in a different place, and it was just so much easier to go ahead and let him nurse to sleep. Finally, I realized something. Our nursing relationship is working. I don’t feel frustrated when it’s time to nurse him to sleep. If he doesn’t go to sleep within a few minutes, I can tell him, “All done.” and he will peacefully unlatch, and just cuddle to sleep. He’s a lot more verbal than my other children have been, and so we’ve been talking about the fact that there is a baby in mommy’s tummy, that the baby is going to come out, and drink lots of momma’s milk, and that he and the baby will share. Now when it’s bed time he says, “Momma’s milk peease. I share wit da baby!” Melts. me. every. time.

So here I am 37 weeks pregnant and still breastfeeding my two year old. Right now the “plan” is to continue on throughout the pregnancy. When the baby gets here, we will talk about the fact that the baby needs lots of momma’s milk, because babies can’t eat other food, and that Nehemiah still gets momma’s milk at bedtime. And I am actually looking forward to them “sharing”! I don’t know what this will look like in reality. Maybe Nehemiah won’t be able to handle not having unlimited access, and we will have to wean at that point. But for now, I’m just enjoying the present. Saying yes to now. And choosing to believe that it’s okay to do so.

Have you tandem nursed? Was it your plan all along, or did it just happen? I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments!

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