One reason why Melissa and I have not been writing Worship Wednesday posts is because it had become routine, and we both at times posted something just to say it without really caring about what was said. Today’s post is a flashback of sorts. Just imagine it’s Wednesday.

This year is my first time to participate in Lent. Growing up, Lent was not practiced in our faith family, though some of my friends participated in it in the past. I was never drawn to it, though. Until this year.

This year, after reading Ann Voskamp’s pre-Lent post, I knew it was something that I needed to do. The night before Ash Wednesday, I found myself wondering what to give up, deciding on sodas, a huge weakness of mine especially since I stopped eating dairy and soy. And then I realized there was something else: I needed to pay more attention to what God is telling me. Listening. Not just hearing, but doing. So I’m giving something up and taking something on.

Here’s the thing, though: I thought I was giving up sodas to show my devotion to God. I thought I was listening to show my devotion to God. But I wasn’t.

I gave up sodas, and a week later I caught a cold. Which I normally use sodas to break up. Caffeine and carbonation are a beautiful thing. But not this time. I fought it. Hard. And through the fighting it, I started listening more.

Again, I thought I was showing my devotion. I thought wrong. Through the listening, I found several songs that have lifted my spirit. And through them, I found audio recordings of George Muller’s thoughts on prayer. His experiences have not only encouraged me but also others- and always at the perfect time.

The most recent change that Lent has brought this year? I am working harder on putting Romans 1 to memory. I had decided to put it to memory this year, but I did not have a very good plan. So now? I’m keeping the first 10 verses at the forefront of my memory, reciting them over and over at times when I would have previously looked at my phone. Over and over, the words are changing the ways that I think of myself and my “job” as a mom. They are changing me.

So here, just over halfway through Lent, I’m realizing that it’s not about me showing my devotion but about God showing me just how desperately I need Him. And when Easter morning rises this year, I will be celebrating more than just the end of Lent. I will be celebrating the end of the burden of the Law, the end of the guilt and the shame that comes from not being able to keep it, and I will be celebrating with more enthusiasm in many years the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ!

Do you participate in Lent? What are you giving up/taking on?