I posted two weeks ago about where I’m finding my confidence as I’m dealing with my anger and its source. I’ve made a lot of progress, but there was a missing element.
Then I woke up this morning and found this MOD (Mothers of Daughters) Squad post sitting in my email. The author talked about her own anger issues, how she was reminded by the Holy Spirit that she needed to extend grace to her daughters. It’s exactly what I’ve been needing, this thing called grace. Grace to say that where I am, what I accomplish each day, is okay. Grace to my husband, knowing that he can’t do everything all the time and that he does get tired and worn out. Grace to my daughter, remembering that she is only a year old and needs me to care for her, to love her, to spend time with her. That sometimes she just wants her Mama.
When I remember this thing called grace, something pretty amazing happens. I stop focusing on myself and focus on others. Does this come naturally? No. I want to scream and kick. I want to throw a fit and say, “What about me??” And while I do need a break at times, especially while I’m working on my anger issues, I also need to give more of myself to my family instead of expecting them to let me continue in my self-centered ways.
I’m also finding that a lot of my frustrations come because I’m not already my idea of the “perfect” wife and mother. I’m so thankful that I’m not supposed to be perfect. That being good enough really is just what my husband and daughter need. That there is grace here, too. And that my Father is so good to remind me of this grace today.