Archive | September, 2011

Remembering Our Babies

This past Monday, I observed an anniversary that I’d love to forget.

Two years before, I had miscarried our second child. Our second miscarriage in just over four months.

I was devastated, and I wondered if I would ever have children.

It was not even a month later that I celebrated my first Infancy and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day on October 15th.

I remember lighting my candle around 7 PM, feeling connected with my babies and trying to remember that there were many other women who were doing the same thing at the same time. Both years that I have participated in this memorial, I’ve let my candle burn for much longer than just one hour.

I know I’m not the only one who has had to deal with the loss of a baby. Melissa also lost a baby to miscarriage, as did our mother-in-law and my own mom.

Because baby loss is such a personal story for each mother that goes through it, we are going to take the week of October 9th-15th to remember our babies. And we would love for you to join us.

Melissa and I will be sharing our own stories that week, but we will also have a linky that will be open for you to share your stories too. Every story is different, but that doesn’t mean that our stories aren’t similar or that our hearts have stopped remembering.

I’m also excited to let you know that we have a special giveaway planned for that Tuesday! We have three wonderful companies who have donated several items. A returning sponsor, I Am Blessed, has designed and donated a very special “My Baby” hand stamped necklace for our giveaway. My Precious Child, who has many wonderful memorial items including jewelry, ornaments, and candles, has donated a few of their pins and charms. And Earth Mama Angel Baby has donated one of their Healing Hearts kits, which we were blessed to review. Our hope is that if you or someone you know has recently experienced any form of baby loss, that you will share these sweet gifts with them.

Losing a baby is hard. It’s one of the most painful experiences a mama will ever remember. But you don’t have to remember it alone.

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Night Weaning… Closing the All Night Buffet

We’re linking up with the Breastfeeding Blog Hop again! We’re joining Life with Levi, The Slacker Mom, and Diary of a Devil Dog Wife this week to talk about night weaning.

 

I wish that I had some great wisdom on this topic. I’m currently breastfeeding my fourth nursling, so the assumption could be that I’ve gone through this several times, and know what there is to know about it. It hasn’t really worked out that way, though. My first was weaned entirely, all at the same time. My second daughter self-weaned, with some light boundaries put in place by me. Night time was one of the last to go, but it went slowly on its own, with no help from me. My fourth is eight months, and still nurses frequently at night. I would like to start decreasing our night time sessions, but I’m not taking any active steps yet.

But then there’s my third. The one child who I’ve night weaned.

Fair warning, this isn’t an encouraging “how to” post. It’s more of a “We’ve been through the fire, but we’re still here,” post. Want to keep reading?

Last summer my third born was almost two. He had always loved to nurse. And nurse.  And nurse. And at night, his favorite thing to do was… nurse. We co-slept, so it wasn’t a huge issue, but as he entered toddlerhood he went from being a rough sleeper to a terrible sleeper. He would wake up crying about mysterious complaints, and end up hysterical. So even though he had free reign  of the good stuff at night, he still wasn’t always pacified by nursing. In addition to that, he loved having an all night buffet, and would stay attached most of the night.

Then I started having horrific pain while nursing… “I’m-going-to-bite-my-lip-to-keep-from-screaming” painful. Thrush had decided to pay me my first visit! Nursing at night made me want to scream. Not nursing at night made my son scream. So I normally gritted my teeth and bore it, but I was getting exhausted, frustrated, and feeling resentful.

And then I found out I was pregnant! Suddenly it made sense. There was more to my pain than just thrush. And the pregnancy had increased the likelihood of me getting thrush in the first place.

But meanwhile, I was rapidly burning out. Before the thrush and pregnancy, I could nurse my son mostly in my sleep. Now I spent the time curled up wanting to cry. Unfortunately, no matter what I tried, if my son woke up or started looking for the breast in his sleep, he would go into a screaming meltdown. I tried walking. Rocking. Singing. Offering water. Snacks. All were met by screams.

Finally, I decided I just could not keep going the way things were. I had been exhausted before the pregnancy. Now I needed rest more than ever. Because of the way my son responded to attempts to distract him, I didn’t feel like there was any way to gradually cut back on our night time sessions. So we went cold turkey: no nursing from our “nurse to sleep” nursing session until daylight the next morning.

It was unspeakably hard. When we started the process, he woke up several times every night, without fail. He would scream (and I do mean scream) for anywhere from 10 min to close to an hour. He never cried alone. I was always right there, holding him and loving on him, just no nursing. My husband took several “shifts” as well.

Slowly but surely, over the course of a few months, the time between wakings grew shorter, and the screaming lasted for less time as well.

The all night buffet was officially closed.

I wish I could say that solved all our sleep issues, but it didn’t. As I mentioned in my post on infant sleep here, my son continues to be a bad sleeper, and he frequently wakes at night. I still feel night weaning when we did was the right decision for our family, for a variety of reasons, but I regret how traumatic it was for all of us. I’m already trying to work towards making it easier on my fourth child, by doing things like introducing and encouraging a “lovey”. I’m looking forward to reading all the posts for the breastffeeding blog hop this week, and I would love if you would share your thoughts below!

Do you have any suggestion for easing the night weaning process? Have you had to night wean, and how did it go? Did your child sleep through the night afterwards?

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Congratulations!!

Congratulations,

Sarah Jane!

You’re the winner of our CC Bums gift card giveaway! Please check your email and reply within 48 hours. If you don’t, then we’ll have to pick another winner.

The Sisters

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